One thing that never fails to amaze me about being openly gay is how many times you have to "come out." Seriously, people don't usually consider this, but think about it. Most people think that there is ONE day that you announce it to the world and suddenly, everybody knows. Not exactly the case, compadres. How is anybody going to know you're gay if you don't tell them?
Now, this is obviously an issue in the gay community, as well as in the straight. When is it appropriate to assume that someone is gay? Most of the time, you'd think you're able to tell when a man is gay. They all prance around in their high-fashion, skin-tight apparel. They all have splendid physiques. They all carry around cute messenger bags. But speaking to an article Artie recently wrote about being gay and that not meaning any of these things, and speaking to a post I've written before, this is WRONG. Sure it can be true, but it's not a requirement, people. I feel like with girls, it's even tougher to tell. Maybe that's just me, though.
Anyways, I'm getting off track. My point is that, at least for me, if I don't TELL people that I'm gay, people automatically assume I'm straight. I don't cut/die my hair in weird designs. I don't have a thousand piercings on my face. I don't wear only sports bras. If this is a part of my life I actually want to be open with people about, I have to tell them to get the message across. And just because you're "out" doesn't mean that everyone is going to respect that about you.
The part that always surprises me though, is the leading up to it. You're talking about a situation where you met someone who was gay, or you have a gay best friend, or some person that was your same sex was checkin' you out, whatever. They give their opinion on what happened, and then it's your turn. You start out, giving tons of detail and whatever, and eventually end up saying that it's a very personal topic to you because....
That's my favorite line. Because then, all you can ever hear is a mind-fucking, still, empty, deafening silence. Seriously, those few words leading up to it, it's like the other person is holding their breath, waiting for you to dump a pile of shit on them.
"Because I'm gay," or "Because I had a similar experience," you say.
And then, they think, "Holy fuck. I'm in the presence of a gay person. Shit. She's gay? I never would have thought...oh crap. I hope I didn't say anything offensive. Did I? Huh. I wonder what kind of girls she likes...I can't really picture her with a girl...I wonder if she's ever liked me. Ahh crap."
Not sure if all of that it what goes through everyone's minds every time, but I can guarantee you at least a few of them have crossed through every straight person's mind at least once.
Just my thoughts on this, one chilly Coming Out Day in Chicago.
Happy Coming Out Day, everyone.
I hope all you blessed little gays out there find the strength and love for yourself to let your true colors shine :)