4/26/11

Beginning of the End.

I figure I write a lot in these blog posts, haha. Here's a short one for you.

Last day of school!! Yay. I have a physics final this Friday (bleugh), and a politics final on Saturday (eeeewwww). I'm really glad because my improv class talked my professor out of doing this STUPID solo-performance-presentation thing that was what he called "open to our interpretation," even though I'm relatively certain he had no idea what it was supposed to be himself. So I finished the writing portion of that final, but I still have to go in on Saturday morning to do a kind of final performance with the group, which I mean is going to be fun and all...but I am kind of ready for it to come to an end. The rest of the team are really close - they go out and party together and all. I kind of tend to distance myself from them outside of class, and I don't really know why. I think its because they're SO good at improv that I feel like they wouldn't want to hang out with me anyways, so why bother embarrassing myself trying to get them to like me? And I'm sure this is mostly in my head, but I can't help thinking it, and it stresses me the hell out. Anyways, I'm pretty ready for all this and more to be over and done with.

SUMMER HERE I COME.

4/24/11

A Stressful Week or Two.

What an incredibly STRESSFUL WEEK. I don't even know where to begin. Well, for starters, I'm in this improvisation class that only has 8 people in it. We've kind of started our own group of players and call ourselves "Tanner and the Explodeo Rodeo," yeah we're pretty hot stuff. Well, our professor schedules us performances as "tests" for class to evaluate how we're doing and we had a couple this past Thursday and Friday night at 10pm after a variety of short student-plays were put on in the theater. Cool enough, right? NO.

It just so happened that on both of those nights I had other things to attend. So on Thursday night, after a lengthy physics test (I'm not very good at physics), and a 3 hour Theater Criticism class (which ended at 950pm, mind you), I sprinted to the theater just in time to warm up in like, two minutes and then we were on stage! Thank God, I barely made it, and the show was great!! I sometimes forget how funny we can be because in class, no one's there to laugh but us. But the audience was so encouraging and we were all just there to have a good time and laugh together, so it was awesome. We did a Juggernaught, our interpretation of a Herald (if you don't know what a Herald is, its basically the staple for long form improv), and then a bunch of free form in which I was Rebecca Black (dear Lord), and had to go on Oprah to be reconciled with my 13 year old manager brother. Like I said, pretty hot stuff. We got off stage and were all hyped up by how crazy awesome our show went, only to discover that our show the following night had been moved to 9pm.

Now this next night, Friday is a little more complicated. This was the night of our last choir concert to be held in a community center that was a good mile from our school, if not more. For the past couple days, we'd had to walk/catch rides to get there because of rehearsals. The concert began at 730pm and all week our director had been assuring us that it shouldn't be longer than an hour. Only now was this information important to me because that only gave me half an hour to get back to school, but I figured I'd be fine. I packed my concert attire, music, heels, and tights in my backpack and rode my bike (in the rain) into town for the concert. I was already a few minutes late, but I ran straight to the bathroom to get changed and was still pulling my heels on as I got up to warm up, out of breath of course. Gradually I eased my way into enjoying myself, as this was after all probably the last time I'd be singing this music with these people, which I just needed to savor.

Choir this year was amazing. I love the people, I love the music, I love the atmosphere, I love performing. It basically kept me sane this whole year. Being away from home for such a long period of time is honestly difficult for me. Just because I came here to get away from all the hollering and hullaballoo back there doesn't mean I don't miss it sometimes. A lot of the time, actually. So truth be known, choir was just the kind of catharsis I needed to express all that and I'm so incredibly grateful that I had that this year.

Baaaaaaaack to my story. Everything's going swimmingly, we're halfway through the concert when I ask a friend what time it is. EIGHT THIRTY. The entire rest of the performance, my hands were sweaty, I was twitchy, because I was so nervous I was messing up notes and my voice was cracking. All I could think was 'I need to get out of here!' It was sad because I really wanted to stay for the reception, but nope. I went straight to the bathroom and pulled my jeans on over my tights, slipped my tennis shoes and sweatshirt on and ran to my bike. The rain was pouring, the puddles had doubled, it was dark. I'm biking with all my strength with soaking jeans and shoes, not even aware of the time, though I'm roughly sure it was somewhere around 9ish. I finally get to the theater and damnit. They'd already started. Not ONLY had they started, they were FINISHING. I guess they needed us to go on at 830 instead. I watched them finish out their performance and cheered them on. There was no way I could just jump in after letting them down like that. I felt awful. The worst part was that I told my professor that I had a concert and that I may be late, but he wasn't there. They didn't even know where I was. Isn't that terrible?? I felt like such an ass. They were cool and listened to my explanation of things, and even told me I should have jumped in, but no. It was their show at that point. Ugh.

All I can say is FINALLY! This stressful week is over. Just in time for an even more stressful one to begin, hooray. And wow, I mean...if you read all of this you must really like me, haha.

4/18/11

The Windy City

Well, I did it. I cut off like 6 inches of my hair. And it looks awesome!! I don't think I could have been happier with it, and for 5 bucks?? I'm ecstatic :) I know, it was originally 3, but my friend didn't have any singles and they didn't have change, so I just gave them a five. Hey, its still better than the like 60 I would have paid at home. You probably can't tell from the picture, but It gets pretty short in the back, no more than a few inches...SO SHORT! I'm in love with it though, so it's ok.


So this weekend I went into the city with a friend for a little while, and I kind of went on a photo extravaganzaa. I took a photography class my senior year in high school and I got SUPER into it, so much so that I actually applied to some schools with that being my entry major. HA. I still really love it though and I miss doing it a lot.


It was raining.
Not the ideal weather for going to the city, but we made the most of it :)


This is my friend Samme who came with me.
She was my unofficial model for the day.


Isn't she purrrdy?


Ahhh grimey Chicago, how I adore thee.


Look at this random hot guy who decided to photobomb.
Now I have immortalized him and his hotness in this photo.


We went to this awesome Thai restaurant. It was delish.
I had spring rolls, red curry and brown rice, and green tea ice cream.
What more could you ask for?
Oh yeah, fresh squeezed lemonade.
:)


I am honestly obsessed with the El.
I think it is the smartest freaking way to get around the city.
Some people are scared of it, but that's just ridiculous...
I feel so cool when I use it, haha.


Pretty Lights


Home of the greats.


Well I have a final anecdote before I bid farewell, though. So I always take the garbage out of my dorm on Sundays before my roommate comes back from home on the weekends. She has OCD, so I figure thats something small I can do to keep things relatively clean in the room, though truth be known putting my clothes away probably wouldn't hurt either, haha. Anyways, I'm whistling away while coming up to the garbage bins and I hear this shuffling noise from behind the gate. At first I figure it's another person emptying their garbage for the start of the new week but then I realize there's no way anyone could fit between the fence and the bin in that corner, but by then it's too late. I'm pretty much right up against the bin when I see this humungous fat raccoon and I freeze. I look at it. It looks at me. For a good while, I mean at least 30 seconds pass before I'm like I should probably get out of its attack range because I seriously thought this thing may just jump right across the bin and scratch my face off. I think as I finally got smart enough to back away it started to hiss at me, but by then I was the hell out of there. Luckily I had remembered to throw my garbage in before I left. THE END.

4/10/11

Don't Be a Drag, Just Be a Queen.

I had a ridiculous amount of fun this weekend.

The concert went wonderfully--we sang the three original pieces, and despite one or two mixups of when to start, we all sang the songs with so much EXCITEMENT! We didn't just want to sing the songs well for the audience, but for Karen, the lyricist, Emilie, the composer, and Mariana the director the whole time too. It was one of the most intricate and communal things I have ever been involved in and I hope everyone enjoyed it as much as we did!

Right after that, was the DRAG SHOW. Now, normally people in drag make me a little uneasy with all the stereotypes of flamboyant gay men dressed in ridiculous costumes and acting in an uncomfortably sexual manner. (This coming from a bisexual/lesbian/whatever the hell I am is just sad, I realize). However, I had probably the best time I've ever had, ever. Friends saved me a seat in the front row where I saw king after queen come up and lipsync their gay little souls out to a large and adoring audience on a spotlight stage. Somehow I found myself becoming part of this adoring audience, dancing along to the songs and wishing to be beckoned onstage or even approached by one. They were absolutely incredible. And there I was cheering them on--and I envied them. I envied how they could be so comfortable with who they were and how they expressed themselves. Anyways, I thought they were all incredible and I just had the best time!

So, in honor of PRIDE week, here at my college, I'm going to be cutting my hair...hopefully. There's a girl here who's certified in cosmetology and she's doing $3 haircuts. My hair is pretty long now and I'm kind of looking forward to chopping it all off. Here's to being attracted to women.

photocredit: Niharika

4/7/11

Procrastination.

So you know how when you're procrastinating something really hard, so hard that
even though you're not doing it, it's all you can think about and it gives you horrible
anxiety because the more you're thinking of doing it, the less you want to do it, but the
more you need to do it because you're spending so much time thinking of doing it but
not really doing it so time just eats itself up? You're probably doing that right now.
Yeppp. Thought so.
Well I finally wrote a paper that I've been avoiding since the beginning of the
semester. It was basically a piece of crap, but I couldn't really care less. I'm not exactly warmed up to the professor right now, he's pretty proud and self-justified in
everything he does-be it demanding us to somehow see a play in Chicago every
weekend, or assigning a 1200 essay on a topic we've rarely discussed for the class
that we return to having after a month of not having it. No really, he's a swell guy.
Anywho, I turned the paper in, but for some reason I'm still really jittery about it...I
feel like I still need to be doing something, which, I mean I do, but those are other less important things due in the future future, which I am, of course procrastinating.
Putting things off is something I have become an expert at. Homework, cleaning,
exercise, relationships-oh, now there's a good one. If ever there was a person that
pushed enough people away--that would be this girl. Don't ask me why, I mean I
actually came to college telling people that "I wasn't made for relationships." And
that was my excuse for not dating. But the reality is that I just can't get things off
the ground. Why am I discussing my love life with you? Irrelevant. Irrelevant.
So here is a small list of all the things I am currently avoiding:

-my physics homework
-taking a shower
-declaring a major
-finding a roommate for next fall
-doing my laundry
-finding a summer job
-working out
-calling the 'rents
-talking my bro into visiting me here, in college
-telling someone how I feel about them
-writing a politics paper

Pro Procrastinator right here. Well, despite the fact that I basically feel overwhelmed
by just things today, it was a relatively nice day. My roommate's class was cancelled,
so we drove into town for lunch and coffee. When we got back, I fiddled around on the
piano until I figured out how to play one of the songs in The Princess Diaries, a
timeless classic. You know the scene at the end when she's in her gorgeous white ball
gown and her hair is all up in a bun with a tiara and she ends up dancing with
Michael, Lilly's mysteriously nerdy hot brother? The song that plays then. Choir after
that was amazing. The a capella group is singing songs written, composed, and
directed by people in the choir and the songs are simply stunning. I can't wait to
perform them tomorrow night at our concert! Lastly I went to the class the paper was
due for-Theater Criticism-for three hours. Agony. But it wasn't so bad because then I
got to walk back to my dorm in the rain. :)

4/5/11

Bikes.

When I was little, I desperately wanted a diary. Not just any diary, though--a password diary. It wasn't that I had anything particularly interesting to say, it was just the idea of having secret information that nobody else could know. For this reason, an ordinary diary wouldn't do. Sure, I could easily find a fantastic place to conceal it, but even with the smallest chances that someone could find it, the fact was that someone could find it! I needed to make sure that even IF it could be found, it couldn't be read. Hence, the password aspect that made this diary so mysteriously wonderful.
After a month of agony, Christmas rolled around and I received this as a gift from Santa for being the good little girl I had been all year. Later that day, my mother took me into her closet and sat me down on the floor to invent the perfect password; for all the time that I had wished for the password diary, I had not once even thought of the fact that I would need a password to open it. She explained that a password is a word or phrase that is especially important to you, and of all the ways she tried to get the idea across to me, my mind grasped the words "something you like to do." After a short hesitation, I took the diary from her lap and recorded my voice saying into it a single word: bikes.
Despite the fact that my grammar is a little off, please remember that I was young and was not aware of the fact that one cannot do a bike, I do believe this was an originally wonderful answer, young Verdi. Of all the things I could have said (that would have been reasonable for my age)--Pokemon, watching TV, lip syncing to Christina Aguilera, etc. I managed to choose something that did not relate to pop culture in anyway, which is more than what I can say for this generation. Who of today's kids would enjoy a simple bike ride with their families over the virtual world of a video game where they can half a zombie with the press of a finger? No, I chose an object which to me, symbolized something inexplicably more important to me than all things else in time.
Back when families were functional, that is.