Procrastination.

So you know how when you're procrastinating something really hard, so hard that

even though you're not doing it, it's all you can think about and it gives you horrible

anxiety because the more you're thinking of doing it, the less you want to do it, but the

more you need to do it because you're spending so much time thinking of doing it but

not really doing it so time just eats itself up? You're probably doing that right now.

Yeppp. Thought so.

Well I finally wrote a paper that I've been avoiding since the beginning of the

semester. It was basically a piece of crap, but I couldn't really care less. I'm not exactly warmed up to the professor right now, he's pretty proud and self-justified in

everything he does-be it demanding us to somehow see a play in Chicago every

weekend, or assigning a 1200 essay on a topic we've rarely discussed for the class

that we return to having after a month of not having it. No really, he's a swell guy.

Anywho, I turned the paper in, but for some reason I'm still really jittery about it...I

feel like I still need to be doing something, which, I mean I do, but those are other less important things due in the future future, which I am, of course procrastinating.

Putting things off is something I have become an expert at. Homework, cleaning,

exercise, relationships-oh, now there's a good one. If ever there was a person that

pushed enough people away--that would be this girl. Don't ask me why, I mean I

actually came to college telling people that "I wasn't made for relationships." And

that was my excuse for not dating. But the reality is that I just can't get things off

the ground. Why am I discussing my love life with you? Irrelevant. Irrelevant.

So here is a small list of all the things I am currently avoiding:

-my physics homework

-taking a shower

-declaring a major

-finding a roommate for next fall

-doing my laundry

-finding a summer job

-working out

-calling the 'rents

-talking my bro into visiting me here, in college

-telling someone how I feel about them

-writing a politics paper

Pro Procrastinator right here. Well, despite the fact that I basically feel overwhelmed

by just things today, it was a relatively nice day. My roommate's class was cancelled,

so we drove into town for lunch and coffee. When we got back, I fiddled around on the

piano until I figured out how to play one of the songs in The Princess Diaries, a

timeless classic. You know the scene at the end when she's in her gorgeous white ball

gown and her hair is all up in a bun with a tiara and she ends up dancing with

Michael, Lilly's mysteriously nerdy hot brother? The song that plays then. Choir after

that was amazing. The a capella group is singing songs written, composed, and

directed by people in the choir and the songs are simply stunning. I can't wait to

perform them tomorrow night at our concert! Lastly I went to the class the paper was

due for-Theater Criticism-for three hours. Agony. But it wasn't so bad because then I

got to walk back to my dorm in the rain. :)