An Apology.

Silence.

This seems to be the best way to start this blog entry:

I'm sorry I don't write a lot.

I started this blog during school because I used it to procrastinate doing school things or just things I didn't want to do in general. It was a nice way to vent and clear my head of all the wonderful things that were driving me insane. But now that it's summer, there's not a lot that I don't want to or can't do. I'm actually surprised at my ability to keep a blog up for this long, because I'd honestly rather be out doing things than writing about the things I'm doing. I have never really seen the point of blogs because - and I don't want to offend anyone, this is obviously just my opinion - it seems like a weird kind of idolization of what other people are doing/how they live their lives. I'm not saying I don't read other people's blogs, I do, but mostly just to see how people (friends and family) are doing. Most blogs I see are written by self-assured people who think that by writing about all the crazy wonderful ways they're going out and living every day to its fullest potential, they will inspire their readers to do the same, but how can people do that if they're sitting inside constantly reading and updating blogs?

Well, I'm not trying to prove my life is any more interesting than the next person's, so why is it that I have kept this blog, even though I'm a firm believer in living rather than living vicariously? Two reasons:

1. I like to write.

2. Self-preservation. Not in the conceded sense, like I want other people to remember me after I die and whatnot (shocking, because I have so many followers), but for myself. I want to look back on my blog entries on days when I feel like a complete lazy ass, or days when I feel that nothing excites me, or days when I feel as though I've done nothing with my life, or learned nothing from my mistakes, and see that I am (hopefully) wrong. And in order for this to happen, yes, there are going to be lapses of time where things like that don't happen. Who does something incredibly exciting or learns something ground-breaking about themselves everyday? People looking for this attention, looking for that next big thing to present to their readers. But hopefully I've gotten across to you that I don't want to have to live, or at least last through this summer looking for things to entertain you with, as that is not my goal. This summer I hope to simply exist and that is all. With that in mind, please close this window and go for a nice long afternoon walk with your dog :)